Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
