I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
