fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
