Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
