I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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