Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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