dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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