I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
