Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
