Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize