What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
