I hate all girls vehemently.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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