I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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