At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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