A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
