Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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