Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
