Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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