That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
