I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
