What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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