capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
