My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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