I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
