The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
