I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
