I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
