I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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