I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
