Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
