The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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