i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
