garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
