oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
one two three fourrrrnication!
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
