She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just found puke in my bra..
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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