Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i need an iv and a liver transplant
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
