Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
