Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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