Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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