My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize