WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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