he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My butt remains clenched, sir.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
