dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
