After last night, I could never be a politician.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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