thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
