She's JV to your varsity
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
