I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Randomize
