there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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