Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
