Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
