Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
