he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
