Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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